I’m Not Worthy

Posted: May 30, 2010 in alone, frustration, identity, loneliness, relationships

I’m really questioning my own self-worth tonight.

We went to my husbands manager’s house for a BBQ. It was a work thing, everyone there either works there or is the family of someone who works there. I was feeling very left out in the beginning. For some reason my husband would not talk to me and everytime I tried to be near him he would go off some where else. And then the two women there, well they’ve known each other for a while. So they can totally have a good time with each other without even thinking of me. So I just kind of stood off to the side and watched. The only ones really talking to me were the kids.

It eventually got better. But then when my husband asked if I had a good time I said yeah. He said that wasn’t very convincing. So then I told him how things started out. He said I was being over-sensitive. Because I tend to be super sensitive about things. So I guess I’m always going to be doomed to be overly sensitive so my opinion or feelings don’t matter.

You know, I often complain I don’t know who I am. Who the hell cares anyway?

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Comments
  1. I am so sorry that that happened. If I were in your position, I would have felt like my feelings were pushed aside and discounted. You just simply stated your experience and it sounds like he became defensive and “attacked” you. For me, “being too-sensitive” is a sure way for me to become angry and not talk anymore.

    I’m sure ther are many people who care…I do. Self-identity is a tough one to deal with. I too am on the process.

    CC

  2. nondelusionalpsychosis says:

    For what it’s worth… I care who you are.

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