Nightmare on ? Street

Posted: May 18, 2010 in dreams

I used have nightmares all the time as a kid. I realize now that I still do, but adult nightmares are different from kid nightmares.

I was at this psych clinic. It reminded me of the building of my first real therapy, and the facility I go to now. I go in and I’m really confused. I don’t know about what. I go up to the window telling them I’m there for the group session. They give me a stack of books. Then they said the group had already started and they’d have to call. But the counselor in charge of the group came up, and it was a woman from the pagan group I was going to. As I’m walking through the door I see my first real therapist. I don’t know whether he recognizes me, so I duck my head to avoid an awkward reunion. I go through the door and am totally overwhelmed. The place looks like a library and all the groups are in there. Some areas are sectioned off while other groups are differentiated by putting chairs in a circle. I get totally lost. I return to the front desk and the nurse takes me to my group. I sit down. Several things occurred during the group. One was that the group was disorganized and not run well at all. I eventually noticed a coworker (one I don’t like) was in the group as well. At that point I made the decision to change groups when this session was over. We ended up watching tv and i was super unfocused. Then the therapist asked me a question but I didn’t know what she said. She repeated it and it had something to do with what do we do with animals we don’t like. The group next to us suddenly had these two girls get into a fight, and this group was run by an intern. I later found out the group was for people trying to quit smoking–there were 4 people. My group therapist jumped up to help the intern get the situation under control. Her method was not unlike what my father would have to do if one of the autistic students he was working with got violent. Then she came back. That group left and came back and the girl that started the fight made a snappy comment about how we had taken their room. And then we all as a group got up together and started taunting the other group. It stayed verbal, and we one. Then some of the board of directors came down to chastise my therapist. She said it was handled well. And one of the BoD guys said except you were _____ (I don’t remember exactly what, some kind of hand motions). Well group was over and I got to the front desk to return the books and cancel any further services. First I get cut in line by at least two people. So I decide to make a very important phone call. I don’t know to whom or for what. But just when the person picked up the phone I was able to catch the attention of one of the receptionists, so I put the guy on hold. I told them I was returning the books. Another nurse said the only way to get those is to check them out from there. And I said well I also want to cancel any further appointments. They were surprised and one of the nurses said oh you probably can’t handle it. And I said yeah because of the way the building was set up, and it was loud and chaotic. I told her I was overstimulated. I meant to say it was an ADHD thing but it never got out. So finally I’m dismissed after I tell them that I am seeing another therapist and I’m going to stick with her (at this point I was talking about my current therapist in real life). As I was walking out I look down at my phone it realize the guy hung up on me, AND my battery was dying. So instead of calling back I called and left a message with my husband that I was on my way home. I was rather surprised he hadn’t called to see where I was. I get in my car to drive home. At one point I was squeezing between a van double parked in the wrong direction and the curb (or another car). Then suddenly my car turned into a large grocery cart and I was going from front to back inside a family’s van and was finally able to get out through the trunk. (The area in which this occurred was exactly like this area near my current psychiatrist and the hospital my insurance covers). The last part of my dream I remember is walking my dog in the park. Except that instead of my small dog, this was a big dog. And the park was full of people–either from the therapy library building or people I know in real life. The dog was dragging me along the park. We finally made it home but I don’t remember anything after that.

I woke up 10 minutes before my alarm, dripping in sweat. I felt like I had once again had to drag myself out of a dream. I got up immediately because I felt sweaty and disgusting, and because I didn’t want to spend a moment longer in that bed. Now I’m a bit disoriented and disturbed. I feel like I’m having an out of body experience and I’m tired.

Not how I wanted to start my first day of training from hell.

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