Never Picked First

Posted: April 21, 2010 in bullying

Current mood: I don’t really know. (The dog’s feeling much better)

I’m watching this E! highlight on bullying. It’s got me thinking about my own experiences with bullying.

Basically, girls are bitches.

I was easily influenced as a young girl. To the point that I would adjust my likes and dislikes based on my friends.

In the early years of elementary school, I was mostly just left out. In the later years, things weren’t quite as nice. Once my “friends” got a guy that I liked to play along with them. They told me he liked me, but ended up being a huge joke. I got made fun of for being short and skinny. I got made fun of because I didn’t develop physically as fast as some of the other girls.

In middle school I had to switch schools in the middle of the year. That was awful. I ended the year by spending snack in the bathroom and lunch in a teacher’s classroom. I had no friends. I went from one friend to another but never fit in. I first got in with the really popular kids, but this one girl really bullied me. I didn’t take it and left. Then my next group of friends completely hounded me over less than a dollar that owed one of them. I paid it back and they still hounded me. They then went around chanting the amount at me in a sing-song voice. I think that was the time I started spending my snacks in the bathroom. That year produced my most depressing poetry. I think it was also the year I took a knife to my chest in front of my sister.

I never got bullied to that extent again.

Of course my battle with depression would never end, and would later be identified as bipolar. If bullying can cause suicide in perfectly healthy teens, imagine what it can do with someone with an undiagnosed mental disorder.

Bullying is never okay.

  1. I’m learning about bullying in some of my education classes, and it really is a problem. Kids today come to school with serious self-esteem issues and take it out on each other. I’m sorry you had to deal with so much of it firsthand.

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