Proactivity

Posted: August 1, 2009 in anxiety, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, headache

Well, I did some more looking out for me today. I told my supervisor about the bipolar (though I did very consciously leave out the bpd). She was actually very matter of fact about it and just said to keep her informed about what I need from her. And then I told her that with all I’ve been dealing with I thought I needed to leave work early (the anxiety/hypomania/mixed episode/whatever the hell is wrong with me was back this morning). She let me go after our meeting. I took the opportunity to have lunch with my mother-in-law and finally came out with it. She was really understanding and empathic about it. We were both brought close to tears multiple times. Then we went shopping together and she bought me some pants and a sign for the laundry room. It was a good time.

I was good for a while but the anxiety came back a little bit. I’ve been trying to stay away from caffeine today, which is hard because i’m addicted. So i had tea this morning and iced tea at lunch. caffeinated but not as bad as coffee and soda. But around 5 or 6 i finally gave in and had a dr. pepper because i had such a bad headache. After that and advil didn’t work i ran to the store for some excedrin migraine. the headache is still slightly there but the nausea is gone. The headache sucks because with all this nervous energy i’d love to go to the gym. but with the headache and sometimes nausea (and/or acid reflux…too much?) it’s really hard to think about working out. My head and stomach need rest but my nerves need activity. And then with being up one minute and down the next, my body just can’t figure out what it needs. I am back to taking all my meds.

Eh, I guess I’m really just complaining. I just need to get through the weekend and make it to my pdoc appointment on Monday. Hmmm…methinks this blog might see a lot of action this weekend…

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