Sigh

Posted: July 27, 2009 in bipolar disorder, depression

That demon depression has once again sneaked in to end the day. I wasn’t doing so well this morning. Then the work day was so busy that I really didn’t have anytime to just sit. Which means my thoughts didn’t have an opportunity to slip down as they have done lately. So I get off work in a great mood and think, yes! finally! But alas it was not meant to be. I did some cleaning in the office since my mother-in-law and her boyfriend are coming to visit tomorrow and staying until Saturday. While I was cleaning I got really irritable. Now I’ve been sitting and as I sit the depression sinks in a little deeper. I wish I had more words to describe what I feel. Depression is so general.

*Description follows, may trigger*

There’s this unreasonable sadness, just a touch, but there’s no reason for it to be there. Then there is the tiredness. Like, not just sleepy but tired of life. And then I don’t want to do anything. And this sense of unease that sits right underneath my skin. It’s a very yucky feeling and I can’t wait until my pdoc appointment on Monday.

I just feel like I’m losing it lately. I don’t know if it’s all the transitions that have recently occurred in my life but I do know I want these feelings to stop.

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