Happy Daze

Posted: July 24, 2009 in bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, depression, feelings

I saw this picture on a blog I read that shows that funny old lady talking about having everything she needs to have a good day. The blog post is titled “I Wish Having a Good Day Was That Easy”. Wow how that one struck a cord!

I really try to practice the mind over matter crap. Of course it never really works. Fake it til you make it. Well my mind just isn’t together enough to fake it for very long. But I try. I think: Wow I am so happy and today is a great day and I have so much good in my life I should be happy. Of course by the end of the day the melancholy and cynicism sinks back with the added bonus of being tired from trying to convince myself that nothing is wrong. I wonder if it’s possible to have both Bipolar Disorder and Depression. I try to think of the possibility and my mind explodes because it just doesn’t make any sense.

Despite the possiblity of co-occurring disorders or maladjusted personality traits, the fact remains that it is simply not that easy to have a good day. I cannot think my feelings into being. It’s just plain exhausting.

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Comments
  1. falloutmommy says:

    About having Bipolar AND Depression… it’s the Bipolar, the depression part of it is more dominant, especially in Bipolar II. If it makes you feel any better (and I’m sure it won’t) I think I could have written your blog. Funny how the times when you feel like you’re most alone you find someone who is so similar… but then it makes me sad to know that someone else feels like I do.

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